I know that many of you (you know…many of the millions that read my blog. All…*counts on fingers* two of you. 😛 ) hold a different worldview than I do. Please understand that I am not writing this to sway you or condemn you. I am simply writing this to convey my own thoughts and share my own experience.
Earlier today, I read the article The Problem With Sexual Compatibility. I agree with this poster wholeheartedly, and now I have my own experience to understand the depth of why. Michael and I love each other very much. When he and I were dating (including throughout engagement), we did not have sex in any form. It was exceptionally difficult because I had never been in a relationship like that before. This built in both of us an immense amount of patience and self-control that would otherwise be lacking – qualities that are crucial to withstanding 50+ years. This also forced us to get to know each other very, VERY well. This is because if you can’t have sex, you HAVE to find SOMETHING else to do. So we spent a LOT of time really getting to know each other – not just each other’s bodies. We knew that we truly wanted to marry each other because (among other reasons) for the first time in our lives, sex wasn’t important. We asked ourselves, “What if – for whatever crazy reason – the day of our wedding, I realized that I could never have sex with this person? What if marrying this person means never having sex again? Would I still want to be with him (or her, in his case) for the rest of my life?” The answer was a definitive “Yes.” So if you’ve resolved that you’re ok with NO sex, then BAD sex is really no issue at all! As far as bad sex is concerned, part of being married is growing together and working together. If you can honestly communicate with and work with your partner, great sex inevitably follows. That isn’t to say that there may be some special situations where…training…is required, but rather, that the willingness to love and serve your partner would naturally render a desire to please…which may result in the aforementioned training.