“Words Are Useless… Too Much of It, Too Much!”

I used to be much quieter than I am now. I used to get excited about finding friends to do nothing with and liked to sit in silence with them. Then I became an adult. I got all the quiet I wanted. That was nice. Now I have kids and I can’t seem to shut up (sorry, mom)! I don’t mean to be so talkative, I don’t like being so talkative; idle prattle drives me nuts to even think about. I crave the quiet – of which I have next to none now that my days are filled with Cars and persistent requests – yet I also crave my own time to spend with adults talking about adult things like politics and Christmas presents. Whenever I know that someone is coming over, my intent is to just quietly enjoy their presence. And then they show up and I can’t seem to stop my mouth from spilling out every thought I’ve ever had since high school. Maybe it’s just that I need conversation more than silence right now. Or maybe this is just part of my current developmental stage. Either way, I’d like to do less talking and more listening.


14 Confessions of a Professional Massage Therapist

1. Sometimes, we get tired of having to explain just exactly why we are – and should be – considered medical professionals.

2. It can be frustrating trying to build up a good clientele as a male massage therapist; guys don’t want to be touched by other guys and ladies think you’re a creep.

3. When we’re not massaging you, we’re busting our butts doing paperwork and laundry. So much laundry. ALL DAY LAUNDRY!

4. When someone cancels their appointment, I often use the table for napping.

5. I think massaging tattoos is neat; seeing the way they stretch, flex, and move is interesting.

6. You know how in the restaurant industry, there are those scumbag customers that no one likes and everyone dreads their coming in? It’s the same with message therapy.

7. Sometimes we have to fart and your massage just started. Sorry.

8. We have some Fabreeze set aside for use after certain particular clients.

9. Your x, y, or z problem probably isn’t as bad as you think; and you’re likely NOT the tightest person I’ve ever worked on.

10. We don’t particularly like being compared to other therapists you’ve had in the past. Each therapist is unique, so just enjoy the experience as its own thing.

11. When a client has scars on their wrists (or similar markings), I like to touch them in such a way that tells them that I care. (I saw that one online and thought it was really good.)

12. Implying that we give “happy endings” or otherwise do anything inappropriate with our professional business is downright offensive. Don’t even.

13. One cool bonus to working in a chiropractic office is that they have those business grade water coolers. That stuff is the best!

14. Although tipping isn’t necessarily expected in this field, it’s always extra exciting when you know you’re getting a client that tips super well every time. They’re also usually the really nice ones to boot.

Incommunicable Answers

Some questions have an answer that cannot be given through words. It isn’t that it doesn’t have an answer or that the answer is vague, but that the answer is simply not linguistic. Let me give you a specific example from a medium that most people can grasp: FRIENDS (as in, the show). In the fourth episode of first season (The One With George Stephanopoulos), Rachel had finally received her first paycheck after choosing to leave a life of luxury:

RACHEL: Look look look look look, my first pay check! Look at the window, there’s my name! Hi, me! 
RACHEL: God, isn’t this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally- (OPENS ENVELOPE) -not worth it. Who’s FICA? Why’s he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.

She finds herself disappointed. Then to seal in her doubt, her friends from her ditched rich life come into the coffeehouse to see her. She gets excited, spends the day with them, and comes home thoroughly crushed. She isn’t sure that leaving her life of luxury was such a good idea after all.

MONICA: You should feel great about yourself! You’re doing this amazing independence thing!
RACHEL: Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what?
PHOEBE: You are just like…Jack and the Beanstalk.

PHOEBE: Yeah, right! See, he gave up something, but then he got those magic beans. And then he woke up, and there was this, this big plant outside his window, full of possibilities and stuff.. And he lived in a village, and you live in the Village.

RACHEL: But see, it (her old life) was a plan. Y’know, it was clear…

MONICA: So what, you’re not the only one. I mean, half the time we don’t know where we’re going. You’ve just gotta figure at some point it’s all gonna come together…

RACHEL: Okay, but Monica, what if- what if it doesn’t come together? 

RACHEL: Okay, see, see, you guys, what if we don’t get magic beans? I mean, what if all we’ve got are.. beans?

At the time this question is asked, her friends can’t answer. In the show, they didn’t answer because they were afraid of the answer. But in reality it’s more than that. What they don’t realize is that the reason they can’t answer it is because it isn’t an answer that’s verbal. It’s an answer directly to the heart. You can’t really share something like that with someone who hasn’t yet learned it for themselves. At the end of the episode, Rachel looks fondly at her friends and sees the richness of her life of poverty and says, “I’m fine. I’ve got magic beans!” And that’s just it; it’s a richness that can’t be explained in words. Try as she may, she’ll never be able to explain that to her wealthy friends; they’ll never be able to understand how giving up that life could be trading up. But it is.

Parenting is like that too. I can’t even say that it’s “worth it” (who’s FICA?!); and yet, I wouldn’t ever want to go back. I don’t regret it. It’s just so rich in a way that cannot be answered with words. It’s a heart lesson.

There are so many answers in this life that are non verbal. So many lessons that are direct to the heart.