14 Confessions of a Professional Massage Therapist

1. Sometimes, we get tired of having to explain just exactly why we are – and should be – considered medical professionals.

2. It can be frustrating trying to build up a good clientele as a male massage therapist; guys don’t want to be touched by other guys and ladies think you’re a creep.

3. When we’re not massaging you, we’re busting our butts doing paperwork and laundry. So much laundry. ALL DAY LAUNDRY!

4. When someone cancels their appointment, I often use the table for napping.

5. I think massaging tattoos is neat; seeing the way they stretch, flex, and move is interesting.

6. You know how in the restaurant industry, there are those scumbag customers that no one likes and everyone dreads their coming in? It’s the same with message therapy.

7. Sometimes we have to fart and your massage just started. Sorry.

8. We have some Fabreeze set aside for use after certain particular clients.

9. Your x, y, or z problem probably isn’t as bad as you think; and you’re likely NOT the tightest person I’ve ever worked on.

10. We don’t particularly like being compared to other therapists you’ve had in the past. Each therapist is unique, so just enjoy the experience as its own thing.

11. When a client has scars on their wrists (or similar markings), I like to touch them in such a way that tells them that I care. (I saw that one online and thought it was really good.)

12. Implying that we give “happy endings” or otherwise do anything inappropriate with our professional business is downright offensive. Don’t even.

13. One cool bonus to working in a chiropractic office is that they have those business grade water coolers. That stuff is the best!

14. Although tipping isn’t necessarily expected in this field, it’s always extra exciting when you know you’re getting a client that tips super well every time. They’re also usually the really nice ones to boot.

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