Earlier today, I realized that I wasn’t even sure that I am an ESTJ; I might be an ISTP (I’m not. I’m definitely an ESTJ. But that’s irrelevant right now.). So I was digging all around and trying to figure out which cognitive functions I actually use: Te Si Ne Fi, or their shadow functions Ti Se Ni Fe. I sat down and thought hard about it. Who am I? Honestly. Who am I truly? And the answer that came back to me was simple: a child of God; ESTJ or ISTP or anything else hardly matters. I’m a child of God first and foremost.
I often see the question asked (in various ways) “How can an ENFP (Michael) and an ESTJ (myself) be happily married?!” What it really boils down to is that we don’t go around living our lives with the labels “ESTJ” and “ENFP.” That’s silly tertiary information. We’re so much more than that. We are musicians, we are libertarians, we are parents, but above all, we are children of God. I know that being a Christian alone does not fuel a marriage; looking at divorce rates shows that. But truly following it teaches us selflessness, humility, generosity, paying attention to the needs of others, listening, and drive to action. Most importantly, it gives us a common mediator working in both of our hearts toward a common goal. All the rest is just extra.