What I Wish More Women Understood (Abortion Support)

Mourning does not necessarily mean regret.

When it comes to women who have chosen abortion, I feel like many are stuck with absolutely no support at all. They’re caught in this limbo of expectations and pressure placed on them by both pro choicers and pro lifers.

The pro life camp seems to think that every woman who has had an abortion MUST feel a sense of loss. A woman who has had an abortion is not likely to confide in someone who is pro life because to the pro lifer, she has committed a heinous crime.

To counter this, the pro choice camp pressures that same woman to be bold about the choice she’s made, and to take no shame in it! This also emits the notion that she is not allowed mourn her loss because there is no loss. Another message put out there is that to mourn means to regret, and you should never regret the choice you’ve made!

If you really do regret your abortion, and you feel terrible for what you’ve done, then know that I’m here for you, to love on you, and to support you. But this post is not exactly for you.

If you really don’t believe you’ve lost a life, and you truly have no tugs on your heartstrings over it, then know that our won’t change our friendship. If you want, I have several close friends that can verify that for you. But in that case, this post is not for you either.

Then there are those in that third, stuck camp. They don’t necessarily regret what they’ve done, or wish they had made a different choice. But they also haven’t been allowed to feel a sense of loss or mourning. There is a remarkable number of women in that camp; women who have carried this wound untreated for years, and so it festers. If you’re in that camp, then this post is for YOU. Know that you can talk to me, cry with me, mourn with me, and I’ll make no assumptions about it.

What I wish more women understood is that it is absolutely OK to mourn. I encourage you to mourn. It’s OK to mourn. And mourning doesn’t mean regretting.


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