Credibility.
Credibility is the peer pressure of adulthood and/or careerhood. It’s the peer pressure that our parents warned us about. Like preteens who only sort of listen to their parents’ spiel on peer pressure, it can be easy to wave off as an easy foe. Like that peer pressure of those days, I tend to think myself beyond its grip (a grip which, I might add, is not always a bad thing. But it can be), but that strong, lofty image is a comfortable illusion that I craft for myself. It’s easy to compare yourself to great martyrs of dusty lands between pages and think, “Yes, I’d be strong too. I’d stand firm. I’d hold a steady hand and a steady gaze. I’d answer boldly and clearly when challenged by steel.” It’s easy to think that – because their beliefs already align with mine.
Like that peer pressure of those days, I – as I suspect most people do – heavily underestimate the power it truly has over me. What if it wasn’t a challenge by a harsh voice behind a mask? What if it wasn’t a challenge of solid beliefs that I formed in the comfort of those who surround me, those who believe, who believe like me? What if, instead, it was a challenge in myself – a paradigm shift within my own mental shell? What if the challenge was that of Christianity, but now I’ve pulled it far, far away from orthodoxy? A challenge that goes against how I was raised, while in the midst of leadership in a church that gets high praise? To tell it all now would surely cause my rep to fall, but not if I kept my mouth shut and didn’t slip at all. Nothing would change, and I could just go on living, gaining great respect and retaining this position. I could go for years, and none would know at all, but as they find out… that’s when I would fall. And all that based on what? Just the thought of who I am? Just forget my “great advice,” that I was “such a great woman”? Over one belief, just one thought, that’s all it takes. And suddenly, your entire personage is a fake.
Don’t imagine standing by what you’ve already always believed; try to imagine being different than your friends and family.
What about then? Then would I be so brave? No, I don’t think so. I’d lose all
Credibility.
linnealien 